whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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