come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
