I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
