you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
His nipple licking is glorious
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