you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
