Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
