i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
