Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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