don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
