why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
