That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
PANTIES FOUND
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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