just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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