I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
