You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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