you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
