you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Are we still banned from the library?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
