haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
