i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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