I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
