when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
