the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
