I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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