Rock
Scissors
Fuck
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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