I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
