Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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