She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
