...so i touched it.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
