Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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