I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
