Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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