Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i wish my penis had a tongue
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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