goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Your cock deserves a montage
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
