The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
