I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My brain says no but my pants say off.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
