u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
