so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he thought i was a dude.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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