Small penises have feelings too.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
