Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
