i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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