Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
