I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
high people should be assigned attendants
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
