Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My nipple is on Facebook.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This is classic penis vs brain.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
