Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
