So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it because I queefed?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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