If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
