we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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