so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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