You're completely useless in the revolution.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
