What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My friends, they love my intelligence
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
