I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Terrible idea I love it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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