why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
