I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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